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[15 Feb 2009|10:28pm] |
so alli is going to cali soon for break.
that means GARY LOOK OUT FOR HER!
i am not going to lie i am a bit worried for her.
considering she plans on hitch hiking to her bus.
cause some concern because she has never been to cali before and people in cali arent nearly as wholesome as us mainers.
aka, i dont want her to get raped or killed.
how can i ease my mind of my worries.
i dont know what i would do if anything happened to her.
shes like my little baby.
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(3 comments|I don't need this)
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| exit unfair |
[02 Feb 2009|02:35pm] |
you would think i would be used to having my friends leave me all the time.
but i am not.
and im feeling so much pain lately.
i think i just have way to much love in my heart.
i cant stop crying lately. the slightest things just bring me to tears.
everyone i love either abandons or leaves me.
i can deal with it anymore.
i dont want to be alone.
but i cant keep people here...
i am guess a little part of me is jealous that they are breaking free and making something of themselves.
i am so scared of being stuck here. forever.
i was going to apply for a job but i picked up my phone and started crying.
i dont know.
i just need to get out and escape.
but i am stuck.
i am always fucking stuck.
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(I don't need this)
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| I fell in love again |
[30 Jan 2009|05:46pm] |
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So I was thinking, just now.
I think Sufjan Stevens might be one of my favorite musicians.
I know it is silly to say because he is just extraordinarily good. And this I have known for a really long time.
But as of late I find myself listening to him more often and its becoming a daily thing.
He is just really fun and isnt stylized at all.
Also what he did really influenced a lot of other young musicians.
Sort of playing with the sound of big orchestras and his simple vocals, well simple sounding but he really does have one of the greatest ranges I have heard.
I was actually watching an interview with Zach Condon from “Beirut”,another favorite musician of mine,and he was talking about his biggest musical influences and he mentions Sufjan Stevens. Then I thought oh wow I can totally here that, and so I threw him on and just re-fell in love with the album. It just has a huge orchestral sound, and just brilliantly composed. The lyrical content ranges from things like watching someone die of cancer,going on a road trip and the story of a serial killer clown. Its pretty flippin wild.
I actually wrote a little album review of Come Feel The Illinoise on my tumblr a while back.
And I said "As corny and typical as this may sound, my favorite song is “Chicago” it is actually one of my favorite songs in general. I just love everything about it."
When ever I hear the beginning of that song I fall in love again hahaha! I really do!
Just the build up and the drum rythmns and the strings.
Whenever I am feeling blue or just don't know what the world is going to do to me I listen to this song.
It puts things in order for.
The horn solo hahaha sooo good.
I am listening to it as I type so I can just remind myself of every way I love this song.
Its so hard not to love.
It is my favorite song by him though.
Ugh I am out of words now.
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(I don't need this)
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| It was the best of times, It was the worst of times |
[28 Jan 2009|01:14pm] |
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All was well, other than getting robbed.
It was hilarious watching Alli get macked on by a guy 7 years older than her. He was fine too hahaha.
The had the same cameras.
For some reason cameras that night brought people together. Ben and I bonded about photography, I am going to lend him holga and he is going to lend me his sweeeet cannon.
I hope we actually do it.
Joshy really wants an old slr. Which is making me want more cameras. Hahahaha.
I have enough but I still would love a tlr, and a large medium format camera. I am so geeky.
Anways back the party, it was good seeing Jill again and meeting a but load of new people. And coming up with some wild ass dance moves. The Goofer and The Bicycle, essentially they were the same things haha.
I also saw Ana and met some of her friends on friday, her Alli, Tracy, and Tracy's boyfriend grab lunch together.
Then we went to a girl named Tuesday's house and hung out there. I was basically floating around the old town, bangor area all weekend.
Oh and school, school is going well.
I have some really great classes with some excellent professors.
I feel that I am going to get a lot out of this term.
Only 2 more semesters left...No I am not counting the days at all hahaha.
Come on "Alli"
I swear (well he means) At this moment you mean everything,
With you in that dress my thoughts I confess verge on dirty
Ah come on "Alli".
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(I don't need this)
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[18 Jan 2009|03:34pm] |
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As I was posting yesterday life has been pretty good.
Even work has been bearable. I really enjoying helping out my residents, I dont mind doing things like that.
It is getting disrespected by an ego tripping boss that brings me down.
I also dont like coming home feeling like I smell like pee. hahaha.
So like I said yesterday, did a lot of painting and little bit of drinking.
Kept it classy and safe.
Then to top off the night we finally went to see MY BLOOD VALENTINE in 3D,, funniest movie ever. I want to see it a million times.
Now I am hungry, but before I eat I am going to post some photos.
( Artsy Fartsy )
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(I don't need this)
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| im a live wire on a short wave radio, do you copy? |
[17 Jan 2009|07:45pm] |
so tonight... very good so far.
pretty much just drinking some beer and doing a shit load of paint with my boy.
i am little bit warm form the beer. hehe.
i am going to need more wood.
ugh i looove night like these.
so happy.
ugh i am just glistening with happiness.
hahaha i promise i will post a better entry later <3
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(1 comment|I don't need this)
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| Things that need to happen. |
[14 Jan 2009|10:12pm] |
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So lately, things in my life have been rocky.
And when I say things I mean everything.
And right now I am working on fixing it all.
I am not a bad person. I am not going to live my life as a bad person.
But I shant! live in vain... I wont and I refuse...
So I have been bummin.. A bit. A lot a bit.
And then I found Andrew Bird is playing in Boston. The 30th. Which is completely doable..
But if that doesnt work cause the tickets are souled out..
I am willing to wait to see him in April in the next "nearest" city VT.
I need this to happen.
I want it to happen...
Wish me luck.
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(1 comment|I don't need this)
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| Time to Pretend. |
[08 Jan 2009|08:00pm] |
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I am totally obsessed with this song.
Time to Pretend-MGMT
I'm feeling rough, I'm feeling raw, I'm in the prime of my life.
Let's make some music, make some money, find some models for wives.
I'll move to Paris, shoot some heroin, and fuck with the stars.
You man the island and the cocaine and the elegant cars.
This is our decision, to live fast and die young.
We've got the vision, now let's have some fun.
Yeah, it's overwhelming, but what else can we do.
Get jobs in offices, and wake up for the morning commute.
Forget about our mothers and our friends
We're fated to pretend
To pretend
We're fated to pretend
To pretend
I'll miss the playgrounds and the animals and digging up worms
I'll miss the comfort of my mother and the weight of the world
I'll miss my sister, miss my father, miss my dog and my home
Yeah, I'll miss the boredom and the freedom and the time spent alone.
There's really nothing, nothing we can do
Love must be forgotten, life can always start up anew.
The models will have children, we'll get a divorce
We'll find some more models, everything must run it's course.
We'll choke on our vomit and that will be the end
We were fated to pretend
To pretend
We're fated to pretend
To pretend
Yeah, yeah, yeah
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(I don't need this)
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| the dreamers theory.. |
[07 Jan 2009|07:33pm] |
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do you know plato's story about the men in the cave?
there is three men in a cave and the only the they know of the world is these shadows that they see
like theyre is the fire going on behind them... and somone comes up and shows them what things are through shadows
kind of like how theo and isabelle experience the world through movies
but one of the men breaks loose and gets out of the cage, and sees all the things as it is.... and trys to explain to them the true beauty of the whole world
kind of like matthew who has experienced a bit more in life that isabelle and he trys to tell her about all the things she can do
and theo... has experienced the world but is very cold about it
he is a dreamer in the since of he wants to become something big and be part of something more than himself
isabelle is a dreamer in the childhood essence, and matthew is a dreamer in the love essence... three different types of dreamers
anyways... back to my comparison.. in the end.... the man goes back to the cave and explains to them.. and trys to break them free
and he does... but in the end they kill him for ruining there perception of the world
kind of like how they brush matthew off at the ending because he is starting to change there perceptions.
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(6 comments|I don't need this)
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[04 Jan 2009|06:27am] |
Last night was very sweet.
I hit up the Bangor Meltdown with Little Legs Lynch. It was probably one of the best mini festivals they had so far. It was indoor thank god. Because it was very very cold. Some of the music was a little bit medicore, but the art and the vendors had some really sick stuff.
I bought a necklace and it is very beautiful one of those things that will cherish forever.
The fashion show was really great to, some beautiful clothes and the girls were just stunning.
A lot of hotties up in the joint hahaha it was funny.
Then we bumped into Emily and she danced with us and that was really great. Met her friend Peter, Jess and Todd I think?
Hung around a bit longer, stared at human statues, danced to Amy.
Good fun, Jolly good..
Now I have to run to work..
:(
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(5 comments|I don't need this)
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| oh hi 2009 |
[02 Jan 2009|03:10pm] |
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its the kick start to a new year..
only a year and a half left of school.
then i am most certainly skipping this joint.
i am thinking about working in bar harbor over the summer and getting a little place there.
i am really putting in some thought to this..
because i genuinely dont want to spend this summer alone. at all, and i know allison is going to do it..
so it would be fun to be around my close friends.
so the new year was spent with two of my favorite exes and my sister, kyndle and i wore metallic leggins.
i am not going to lie i am a wee bit crazy about them..
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(I don't need this)
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| Indie music of our era....part 1 (what is it?) |
[27 Dec 2008|07:58pm] |
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music |
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Peach, Plum, Pear- Final Fantasy |
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I will say over and over again until the day I die, the indie music of our generation is vastly under rated.
I mean it to, I say indie and not all because I really feel like indie is one of the miss underrstood genres of all time.
I blame sub genres for this we are always narrowing things down instead of looking at it as a whole. Well this girl
is examing the whole pie of indie music. To me indie music is simply a a collection of various styles of music
that stay true to it's style regaurdless of sales, the music is a pure artform and reflection of the artist. This can fit for
all of those sub genres, from singer song writer to disco. I think a lot of "indie" kids tend to focus more on whether the artist
is popular or not, if the popularity does hurt the music why should it matter. For example the Decemberists, Bright Eyes, and Radiohead,
all of which are unique styles that are now popular but their music has not lost and merit and continue to deliver something special
to music, and from these types of bands other musicians following what is growing in our generation and twisting and spinning morphing there
own styles, like for instance Final Fantasy or Panda Bear would be just way to werid the 80s but sine in our generation it seems like the more avantgard the better they are both very big in their own style. I don't know things lime this really excite me, and I have no idea what is in store for 2009. Shit my battery is dying.
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(I don't need this)
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[26 Dec 2008|06:31am] |
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Why so freezing? I am prepping myself to get ready for work. That I am not looking forward to but it is infact money and I am indeed a whore. Christmas was nice. But some how I still do t feel any better. Still just as consumer with fear and self loathing. Ah now I a. Out to face the storm mess that is my life and it is no one's fault but my own.
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(I don't need this)
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| on this path of self discovery |
[22 Dec 2008|08:38pm] |
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i find myself slipping more and more.
growing content in isolation.
longing for a daze state to block it all out in.
i dont know who i am anymore.
i really can say that... i lie to myself so fucking much its disgusting.
i love to say that i am real and down to earth.
but i feel like i am becoming what i hate.
clay.. molding clay.
i fit myself however deems necessary to the proper situation.
i dont know how to even tell anyone this let alone myself..
what do i want out of my life..
honestly to stay young forever, and ultimate freedom.
from care, money, expectations, COLLEGE.
i dont know.. i feel myself slipping.
i want a few things.. but those things are selfish.
i dont know......
i hate feeling so small..
i will always fucking feel small.
i dont want to be sad..
i hate writing while sad..
i just need to get a grip.
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(I don't need this)
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| i'll keep them still |
[22 Dec 2008|05:46pm] |
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the monster wanted me to work wednesday.
i was smart and refused.
that would put me on a five day stretch and i do enough favors for mrs.mcgrouchie.
its rather cold today. but that is a given because i am in maine.
but its making my limbs feel weak. which makes it harder for me to work.
all is going well right now in my little world.
i need to do some gift wrapping but thats it.
i also need a shower..
i find it amusing how magazines try to tell you how to loose weight..
seriously, how many different ways can you say, excerise, eat right, sleep.
stress is honestly though the number one reason why i think people put on weight.
because food is comfort and everyoneeee is a fat kid at heart.
i had other things to say.
cant really recall oh well..
love you <3
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(I don't need this)
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| mini tangent.. filled with grammatical errors. |
[18 Dec 2008|11:09pm] |
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nudity can be a beautiful thing and people are way to stubborn about it. how ever, i do not agree that women or men should be objectified. nudity as an art form is completely different than pornography even though its beauty may make it more sexy.
i think that pornography is something that is really poisoning the mind and feel as if it reinforces gender roles (even though there is gay pornography, it really doesn't accurately portray why it is like to make love). i also feel as if it makes sex a very confusing thing for young men and women and it puts unrealistic standards on both parties. can you imagine a girl and a guy first having sex and all the knowledge they have is from porn? how awkward it will be.
that being said i believe in nudity as an art form, and will admit sometimes women get objectified in art too. but i think nudity tastefully done is really nothing to worry about. also how come its so taboo to have a naked man in photos? another thing that urks me, female nudity is more acceptable than male. again my argument about objectivity.
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(I don't need this)
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[16 Dec 2008|03:23pm] |
there is a light at the end of the tunnel.. its just mark kelly standing in the way..then i work four days in a row. and then alli's party..
jill is leaving for good tomorrow. i am very bummed about this..
it seems that every time i get close to someone who is a crazy person they leave or i move away.. its this endless bummer circle..
but as i lose a best friend i also gain one with alli returning here for good.
but i am going to miss jill mega and we have already made plans for our future.
so hopefully we follow through with them.
joshua just randomly bought me a ton of beautiful handcrafted jewelry and i love surprise like this because they are so rare but very nice.
and all the money he spent went to a cancer organization, i cant remember which one but he didnt tell me either.
tonight we are having a family dinner. i am excited.
my neck hurts like mad though..
tomorrow............ will be both sad and happy.
tomorrow... is a new day.
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(I don't need this)
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[13 Dec 2008|11:49pm] |
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i arguably make the best garden burgers in the world...
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(I don't need this)
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